You can often hear the word "egoism" in an extremely negative context. Selfish people are scolded, violating the interests of others, carried away only by their own goals. However, in a psychological context, this term often acquires a positive connotation, and world thought knew the concepts of “rational egoism”. Deepening in the history of the concept will help to understand this.
As a philosophical concept, the word egoist (from the Latin ego - "I") was formed in the XVIII century. One of his theorists - Helvetius - formulated the so-called theory of "rational selfishness." The French thinker believed that self-love is a fundamental motive for human action.
The classical definition of egoism says that this is a system of values in which personal well-being is the only motive for human activity. This does not always mean complete neglect of others. So, Bentham argued that the highest pleasure is life in accordance with the moral standards of society (that is, the behavior of an egoist does not contradict the good of the whole society). But Rousseau found that people show compassion and help others, including for the sake of feeling superior. Mill wrote that in the course of development, the individual is so firmly connected with society that he begins to associate it with his own needs. Drawing on similar ideas from Feuerbach, Chernyshevsky wrote his Anthropological Principle in Philosophy, artistically illustrated in the novel What to Do?
Traditionally, egoism was opposed to altruism (from the Latin alter - "other"), but modern psychology avoids such an opposition. As long as a person lives in society, his needs constantly intersect with the interests of other people. Theorists of recent years interpret rational egoism as the ability to balance the benefits of certain actions with inconveniences and build relationships for the long term, while maintaining a balance of caring for oneself and others.
Speaking about egoism as a problem, they most often mean hyperconcentration on one's self, egocentrism. This often becomes the result of upbringing, when parents excessively and unreasonably indulge all the whims of the child. Growing up and leaving the cramped world of the family nest, the egoist is faced with the fact that the world does not revolve around him at all. Most often, in personal relationships, such people seek to find a partner who will reproduce a model that is comfortable for him: to constantly sacrifice their own interests to please his desires. As an advice to parents, psychologists recommend that they themselves be guided by rational egoism: learn to refuse a child, take into account his opinion, but not put the child on top of the family hierarchy.