Life is so arranged that people, even calm, non-conflict, educated, can have enemies. The most natural reaction is to respond to your fierce ill-wisher with hostility. Mutual hatred can last for many years. Humanly, this is understandable. But it’s better to overpower yourself, change your attitude towards the enemy and try to reconcile.
Instruction manual
one
If you are a believer, remember that all major world religions urge you to be lenient to the mistakes, shortcomings and even vices of other people, to forgive your enemies. "Do not judge, but you will not be judged!" - This is one of the commandments of Christianity. And feelings such as anger, hatred, are considered serious sins. In the event that you can’t soften, forgive your enemy, talk to the clergyman, and tell him frankly about this problem.
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Also think about this. It is extremely rare that only one side is guilty in a conflict that led to a strong quarrel, and as a result to hostility. Most people tend to justify themselves and condemn others. Nevertheless, try to remember how the enmity began at all, objectively and impartially analyze your behavior and find the answer to the question: was it not your fault that happened? Maybe you behaved tactlessly, offended this person, or someone from his family, friends (albeit unintentionally)? In the case when you self-critically admit that you also bear your share of responsibility for the hostility that has occurred, it will be much easier for you to change your attitude towards your ill-wisher, and also try to reconcile.
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It often happens that the basis of enmity is elementary envy. Suppose you are smarter, more talented, more successful than your ill-wisher, and for him it is like a “sharp knife”. He literally loses peace, begins to blame you for his failures, mediocrity. Such a person may be your colleague, neighbor, former classmate, just a familiar person. What can I say? Such flawed people are not worth your attention. They should not be hostile. After all, the only feeling that they cause in normal people is squeamish pity. Do not pay attention to such people.
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Finally, if you yourself cannot understand why your enemy disliked you, try to speak frankly with him. Do not resort to accusatory "prosecutorial" tone or threats. Just calmly ask him to answer: what did you do to him than offended him. Perhaps during the conversation it turns out that everything happened due to an annoying misunderstanding, mutual misunderstanding. Then it will be very easy for you to change your attitude towards each other. If you see that the person you are talking to is not set up for conversation, do not insist. For conversation it is better to choose a time when a person is open for communication.