In order to overcome fear, it is necessary to recognize that in fear, as in any other emotion, useful information is laid down for us. Fear helps us anticipate possible dangers and avoid them.
To understand what information fear brings us and to overcome it, fear should be treated like a story. Stay a little away from the immediate emotional experience and imagine that fear tells you a story.
Such a story always has a beginning. For example, you are standing in front of a door to your boss’s office and are about to enter to ask for a raise or increase. And what happens next? You see how the story unfolds (your fear dictates you the continuation of this story step by step): here you knock, come in, sit down on a chair. The boss looks up at you. You take a deep breath and voice your request. Next is the climax! The worst thing that may come: for example, the boss laughed at your request and, patting his shoulder indulgently, led him out of the office with the words "Yes, yes, somehow necessary!". Or he became furious and began to express what an unscrupulous and irresponsible worker you are, and you dare to put forward requests! Or he remained soft and friendly, but began to say that the company has difficult times, that reductions are coming, that we cannot afford … And you leave the office either spat upon and insulted, or humiliated, or in a slight misunderstanding "what it was ? " - but at the same time you have no idea if the boss has heard you and is ready to go forward, and what do you do now. A terrible thing happened. The story is over.
So, the first stage in the fight against fear is creative. Hear the story your fear tells you. See the dangers that fear is trying to warn you about: in our example, it can be spoiled relationships with superiors, loss of self-esteem, experience of failure and stress … And here you can give free rein to imagination, try to draw, see in colors, play those stories, who tell you your fears.
The second stage in overcoming fear is the scientific one. Once you have presented in colors the stories that tell you fears, you need to soberly and rationally evaluate them. What is the real likelihood that such a frightening situation will happen? How fatal will your consequences be if you risk it? And if not? Do you have the resources to deal with a frightening situation in case it does? Where can you find support? What can you do in advance to mitigate the consequences? It is necessary to subject each story to critical analysis for compliance with reality.
Thus, you overpower your fears when you think about their actions,
- what are the possible future scenarios waiting for you
- how realistic they are
- and what you can do to mitigate or avoid negative consequences.
As a result, thanks to fear and its elaboration, you go into a frightening situation prepared. And she no longer seems so scary, and her negative consequences cease to be fatal to you.